I guess it started early that evening while listening to an audio preaching and the Pastor shared a vision he had for China 50 years ago.

It was like a spark on something that has been planted in my heart 10 years ago, when I attended a prayer meeting and heard about the on going mission work in China.

I was a young college student that time, with no ‘burden’ for missions. I just wanted to pass my Calculus and Chemistry that time. But the missionary from China gave a powerful talk, that I was convinced to subscribed in their monthly  newsletter and pray for the nation. I still have the chopstick that they gave to remind of my prayer commitment.

And today, it was as if God placed a fuel on that spark to set my heart on fire. The burden came on the bus…and I was literally in tears for China.

I realized that indeed it is only the Lord who can placed a genuine burden for a nation. It cannot be fabricated, it is only His love for that nation shared to His children. I felt a genuine, pure and patient love for the nation. It was an enduring love that will never give up until the very end.

I guess this is a start of something new for me. Something different in the way I pray for this nation. Now let me begin…on my knees

Waiting.

We were at the highlands yesterday, enjoying some unlimited cakes and coffee, with some chilly air of the mountains. A very nice setting for some really good conversation.

My discipler shared this story about waiting, which was not really something new…because it happens in ordinary days.

Waiting.

I guess from experience, the hardest part of waiting is on that last two minutes before you get the result. That is the crucial point of not giving up.

How do you know if that is your last two minutes? No one can say, but I guess it is when you want to give up that you should ask for more grace to be still.

There are two parts in waiting, it is waiting for the WHAT and then waiting for the WHEN. The two parts are not separated, it is linked together and should be progressive. If you miss the WHEN, you miss the WHAT.

When I was younger, I was so focused on the WHEN, because I thought I already knew the WHAT. Like any other young person, you always want things to be done NOW. But now that I am a little older, God made me realize that knowing the details of the WHAT will give me the grace to wait for WHEN.

“Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved … My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved.” Psalm 62:1-2, 5-6

Years ago, (I cringe with that introduction), I was this carefree, funny, hilarious and always excited young lady. Take a look at this picture and you will agree with me.  Honestly, yes I was a happy person,with so much laughter almost every minute, but I was not sure where I was heading. Or what I should be doing.

I was everywhere, doing everything, without really focus and purpose.

And with the Lord’s goodness, He called me and started to establish me in His purposes. I can say, that I am not “so funny” now. My team in the office often thinks that I am stern and serious at work.

It’s not because God has taken away the “fun” in my life. But I guess, God has re-arranged my life in a way that I will desire His joy and not just… fun.

Oh His joy…His unspeakable joy! It is like a treasure that you need to dig deeper to get the purest form. This joy is not smile-deep kind, but heart, soul and spirit-deep kind of joy. That even in the midst of trouble, you will thank Him for the abounding joy.

This is what keeps me from continuing and moving forward. His Joy that was set before me and enables me to endure the cross.

And for 2012, this believer in the marketplace will be entering new seasons at work. Great things are yet to come!

Tatay's winning game

Last night was my most memorable time with my family. For the first time,
every one was awake to welcome the new year on midnight. We had prayers and a simple dinner. We also had games and we were all laughing, because my Tatay who didn’t want to join, won the game and took the prize money. For some reason, I was embracing the moment, trying to make special memories before 2011 bid farewell with my family. 

I thank the Lord for this chance to have this special memories with my parents.    It was a difficult and challenging life while we were growing up. And I’m glad that I can now celebrate with them now that life is a little more comfortable. My Nanay is very consistent in her request (almost like a plea) for a son-in-law. And I just have to also be consistent in telling her that it will come, and we just have to enjoy this time that I am with the family.

This coming year is like a gift wrapped beautifully. There’s a lot of anticipation in my heart. I look forward in knowing the Lord deeper, go through the preparations (yes, for the coming ages…not just years), and enjoy every moment the Lord will bring.

I welcome this year with a prayer of two words, “YES, LORD.”

I trust, obey and allow faith to grow.

Happy New Year!

One Memorable Christmas Season at Esteban's

I say that because that is how I am feeling right now. It’s as if I am in the last laps of this race, before I begin to join a new marathon. I am very excited and thrilled to cap this year with thanksgiving and welcome the coming year with so much anticipation. Because He is a good, loving and faithful Father.

Last year was just awesome. I must say that each day was penned and authored by God. There were chapters that were closed, with tears and surrender. And there were new ones that were welcomed wholeheartedly.

I thank the Lord for holding our family through the storms that came. He has been our refuge and strength. The only way to go through trials is to enlarge the heart to contain more love.

I am also grateful for the work He has blessed me. New challenges, new team mates and new office. Every day was an opportunity to depend more on His grace, wisdom and strength. I thank Him for the beautiful people He has added in my life. I have nothing else in my heart but to continue to glorify the Lord in the workplace.

This year was also a challenging year for Feed My Lambs Scholarship Program. God showed Himself as the Good Shepherd and taught us to depend and call upon Him for our daily needs. Yes, there were days that I felt the weary. But just seeing the children, their smiles and love for the Lord. I must say that everything is worth it. What a privilege to serve the Lord through them.

I am also thankful for my sisters, brothers and spiritual leaders that has kept me in the race through their prayers and encouragements. Indeed, we need to be diligent to fellowship with fellow believers to remain in the course. I see God in them and would like to have the light and glory that is shining through their lives.

This year also was the year that God took me away! I had the most travels this year. Fourteen plane rides! And every travel is filled with lessons of faith, trust and glory.

Oh, and this was also the year that God completed my preparation in Bible School. I miss the school,but God has given the blue print for the next steps. I have to start moving.

A few years ago, God told me the reason why I was born on the 24th. And this year, His message is about my nature being changed to His nature. He is a giver, and extravagant one. He wants me to be like Him, that when I give, I will always give my all, extravagantly.

This is not just about giving to those who deserve gifts, but even to those who are not thankful. I must learn His nature of giving, His nature of unconditional love and giving. (Oh Lord, grant me more grace!)

Tonight, with a grateful heart, I am ending the day with this post. This serves as a memorial of what the Lord has done for 2011. He is good, faithful and loving.

And for 2012, I write this in declaration of His faithfulness:

 ¹⁰ “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
¹¹ So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
¹² “ For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:10-12