Steady

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A few more days before the year ends. I am starting to slow down and start reflecting on the days and months that past. It seemed to me that clocks are going faster now than before.

As I look back and meditate, I think of two things: Being Steady and Winning Christ.

Being a young adult, there’s this force that gravitate you to desire change and adventure. This year, it’s as if the Lord placed me in a formula of so many changes and unknowns, and the challenge is to be STEADY, that is to be established and settled. There were days that everything was rolling, moving and changing, and the Lord was asking me to stand and quiet my heart.

This is when the Lord was establishing His vision for my life. He wants my eyes and heart focused on His plans. He brought me to different places and allowed me to meet new people for the purpose of knowing His heart for them. I must admit that the Lord has been very patient with me in bringing me to this point. He had to do this, to purge any remaining personal plans and human goals in my heart, because He wants to have a pure heart who will only delight to do His perfect will.

One turning point for me this year was my conversation with my spiritual mother. I was telling her how the Lord is unfolding His plans each day, and sharing to her my dreams of going to the nations and hitting the mark. And then, with love and simplicity of heart, she told me, “You know Jam, yes we really need to get into our call and hit the mark, but really, all I want is to get to heaven and be with Christ.”

And that gave me a very important lesson, my vision is to win Christ. All of these works is just a byproduct of my ultimate goal. Whether it be in my family, career, ministry and church, all of my choices, decisions and breathe should point to this direction. He is my All in All.

Christ With Me

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“Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I  lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.”

- St. Patrick

New Learnings on Faith

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It’s Wednesday, second day of a new month, new quarter and new fiscal year in the office. I have 20 minutes left before I need to get up and start preparing for work. But here I am, trying to pull some thoughts together to write and outline some of the new learning I am receiving from the Lord.

Last week, the Lord reminded me on the story of Elisha and the Shunammite Woman in the bible. It was an unforgettable preaching in 2010. When the Lord dealt with my unbelief. The story was about a woman who invited Elisha (symbolize the Lord Jesus) to dwell in the room she had prepared for him. She was already satisfied having the Lord in her life, but the Lord confronted her and asked her what she wanted. She could not think of anything, but the servant said that she didn’t have a son. It was the moment when the Lord opens up our hearts to those things that we have locked up (quietly and safely). The woman thought that she was already satisfied, but the Lord knows what will satisfy her even more.

I can totally relate to the woman when she answered, “Please do not lie to me.” I felt the emotions to my bones. There are things that I have locked up, sealed and probably kept to forget and when the Lord asks for these things, it’s like a reflex to say, “I am currently in the okay mode, please don’t lie to me…”

But it is the Lord asking. Not anyone else. Not a limited, powerless human being. The God of Creation. The King of Kings. The Lord of lords is the one asking, “What do you need?”

It may have been a long wait, a hundred times of surrender and an inch to giving up. But He comes in His perfect time to perform His Word.

I recently heard a pastor preaching on “Asking Largely of God” and I liked how he said this about faith:

“I am sick and tired of saying, Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief. I want to grow and say, I believe. Period. Or I believe! Exclamation point!

Yes, I want that kind of faith. Up to that point of exclamation point! No more unbelief, no more doubt, just plain YES.

And to close, this morning the Lord showed me Mary’s exemplary faith. Let me quote it from the article written in my bible:

“It is clear that she did not claim to understand it herself, but simply worshipped God in humble acknowledgement of the phenomenon engulfing her existence.”

What a perfect attitude of submission, trust and faith. Lord, let it be also in me, such faith and trust in Your perfect will, by Your grace alone.

 

Jumpstart Youth Service

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This is the time that the Lord is calling for a generation who will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

Yesterday, as we were interceeding for the upcoming Youth service, the Lord dropped a word in my heart.

I was then crying to the Lord and telling Him how little and weak we were, and didn’t have enough resources to bring forth such plans.

Then the Lord encouraged me and said that He is not looking for flashy program nor big event. What He is asking of us right now is to prepare a way for His coming.

It is in the simplicity of lives surrendered and committed to follow the Lord that will prepare the way for the multitudes to come to Him.

And then the Lord gave a Word to one of the youth leaders:

“The least one shall become a thousand [a clan], and the small one a strong nation. I, the Lord, will hasten it in its [appointed] time. Isaiah 60:22″

His perfect will be done. My heart is ever thankful and grateful for these wonderful experiences He is allowing me to go through. :)

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This Is My Cry

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A few days back, I felt disoriented.

I would go home every night, and think about my current situation, assignments and aspirations. It was as if there was a battle between dreaming and contentment.

The dreaming part was stirred up when I started reading Hudson Taylor’s autobiography. My eyes were like a faucet automatically opened when I read chapter one. He was a man who loved GOD and China. I found myself having deep breaths and sobs. Mission is still in my heart, China is in the top of it.

However, with this bubbling desire also comes the reality of my present assignments and responsibilities.  I am certain that it is the Lord who planted me  and He is also the one who nourishes me to grow in all these endeavors. The desire for some great and awesome Come Away is there, but the blessed assurance and peace of His perfect will quiets all unwanted yearnings.

I was also encouraged bya close sister, that indeed, wheneverthese kinds o f thoughts comes in rage, I just have to remind myself that it is He thst I want to win, not any earthly desire or ministry satisfaction, but all I want is to please Him.

And so I close this post with a portion of a song that has been ministering to me greatly:

“This is my cry
My only desire
This is the cry of my heart….

More of You, O Lord….”

Lolo Bailey

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It was another day of tears, waking up and wishing you are still with us.
It is now one year since you have gone to be with the Lord, and yes, there are still days that I would cry and wish you will still come and visit us one of these days.

You don’t know me personally Lolo Bailey.

But your life, message and vision has been instrumental to my christian growth. Thank you for loving the Lord that much, and influencing us to do the same.

Your life and witness has truly been an encouragement that cheers us on to come up higher, everyday. So grateful for the audio preachings and books you left. I listen to them whenever I miss you, and that means almost everyday.

Lolo Bailey

It was an honor and privileged meeting a man of God in our generation.

I miss you lolo Bailey. Happy Father’s Day!

See you soon. See you in His glory.